The change did not come. Well into law school at this point, I find myself already barely getting by and holding on to the bad habits that got me into this good situation. However, this time around the silver lining is becoming harder to discern from metal bars. And I'm the prisoner that dreams of digging out but ends up keeping his silver spoon in his mouth.
This makes me think, was the silver lining ever even there? Going back to reality, I realize that for a long time now I have been slowly but surely flailing towards the next goalpost. I find it hard to think of the last time I felt free. It seems everything comes back to that myth of Sisyphus, and everything comes back to my fear of finding fulfillment. So instead, I flail and hope I make it to the next stage in one piece.
Thankfully, it doesn't have to be this way. The silver lining surely is still there. It just may not be the one I have always thought of it to be.
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