It seems that I always come back here at my lowest points; I suppose there is a healing element in writing out one's thoughts. I remember many years ago, I used to record voice memos in times like this and would cringe hard later on when they would come up when shuffling music. I guess the difference is that I actually go back to this blog sometimes while those memos are long lost to time. I was journaling before the pandemic hit, and I keep coming back to this one line that took up half an entry, "THERE ARE MORE GOLDEN AGES YET TO COME". I am charmed by my former self's optimism since I don't have much now.
My last post here was over a year ago, long before the pandemic and naturally before I got my good grades for that semester. I find it hard to believe I was in such a low place in October 1st of last year; I knew the end of the semester did not go too well but I pulled it together and I really don't remember struggling so much so early into my law school life. I often think about how I keep making the same mistakes and this seems to correlate- I'd rather forget about my troubles than learn my lessons.
Going back to optimism, if there are more golden ages yet to come, I hope they come soon. This year has been lost to the pandemic, so perhaps everyone will be wanting to make up for lost time once it subsides. When that comes, it will be up to me to start a new golden ages as opportunities will surely exist. I guess me thinking this is optimism in and of itself. But still, until that moments comes, here we are still flailing towards the next goal post.
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